Sooo, my homophobic (despite his own son being gay) pastor uncle came around today and gave me a book called The Reason for God: Belief in a World of Skepticism for my birthday. Apparently it’s a New York Times best seller. What the fuck.
He then earnestly proceeded to tell me that if I read this everything was going to get better soon, even though I’ve been having a “bit of a hard time lately”. He was rambling on about how marriage was the way to go, and that religion and government were God’s tools of happiness. What!? WHAT!?! WHAT THE FUUUUCK!??
Apart from the obviously ludicrously unconvincing and untrue things he was telling me, I felt so angry that he would choose now to waltz into my life and pretend that family was a big deal to him. Like, oh ok, right, so now you’re really super invested in my life? Mmmhmm, yeah. After I’ve been alive for 24 years already, now is when you suddenly decided to take some amount of interest in my life? Yeah, now I have some ‘problems’ it’s prime time to get down to a-convertin’ this gal.You know what was even worse was that my mum seemed to be totally in agreement with him, or at least wanted for him to be there as a witness to her martyrdom. She really wanted this idiot in her living room preaching at me. It was like it was easier for her to be around me that way or something. Like she could step away from me - she could just let me be some caricature monster in her mind who didn’t want to accept my own awfulness. She could just let the full weight of her own suffering, in the face my burden on her, be felt in the room. My uncle could understand her struggle more this way. Poor, poor, poor mum with her crazy, useless daughter who just won’t be helped. (Mental health issues are all in one’s head, after all. People with them are just playing the victim. They are so weak, don’t you know. The leaners of the nations, yup, yup, all you useless little shits get out of your heads why don’t you)
Like, even though I hate how I am existing right now, and I am trying really hard to get out of this - I’d actually rather be feeling depressed and everything, and cynical about the state of the world than a fucking evangelical bigot who thinks they’re just the righteous cats pyjamas, solving everyone’s problems with ‘love’(read: Christianity).
Mate, if supreme ignorance and intolerance under the guise of ‘love’ is the only possible way you can live your life. Then, fuck, no. No thank you.
I really wish my mum would stop telling the rest of my family how excellently I am doing. Thanks mum. Making me feel of top of the world, as usual.